


Kindred Spirits

by WritingBarnes



Series: Back Home [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Light Angst, Mutant Powers, Romance, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-03-28 23:39:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3874219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingBarnes/pseuds/WritingBarnes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He should have been content with what he has. But every night, he lies down on his bed and he could not help but to feel the gaping hollow in his heart that seemed to grow each day. </p><p>Steve Rogers should be grateful and be happy with the world he's in but he couldn't bring himself to do it. </p><p> </p><p>“I said nothing for a time, just ran my fingertips along the edge of the human-shaped emptiness that had been left inside me.” ― Haruki Murakami, Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story began in the middle of "Tracing Back Time" story, written from Steve's and OC's point of view. You could just read this story if you want but if you want to clearer understanding about some of the scene, reading the first story (TBT) would be helpful. Most of the events are related to a lot of events from TBT, but from Steve's POV, which was probably why some of the chapters could seem fast paced.
> 
> Yeah, other than that, i hope you'll enjoy this story! Don't forget to leave a comment, tell me what you think :)

It wasn’t like he was still suffering. His long list of health issues is gone and he was no longer the scrawny-sickly boy from Brooklyn. He can now see the world in its full color, a great advantage for his artistic side and he is not partially deaf anymore. He no longer has to worry about getting his arrhythmia, his risk of getting diabetes, his problematic stomach ulcer, or his anemia. He stood up straight, a good few inches taller than Bucky and he knew he has a great built. Women would gladly lined up for him and men stared at him in jealousy.

 

He was frozen for seventy years and still look like he hasn’t aged a day. He’s a superhero. He is the first avenger and there was no better title than that. He may have lost his howling commandos and Peggy Carter but he has a team he can proudly call his best friends and he has his Bucky back. Everyone looked up to him; from the little children on the street to the old vet he met at the park. He was a leader and a protector, a symbol, and the nation’s hero. He also realized people would be all right with him if he acted out and showed off, putting his popularity for other purposes.

 

Steven Grant Rogers knew all that and he also knew that he was supposed to be grateful about everything and feel a certain level of happiness. He should have been content with what he has now, knowing that other people have it worse. But every night he lies down on his bed, he could not help but to feel everything was meaningless. He became conscious with the gaping hollow in his heart that seemed to grow each day. And he felt guilty for even thinking about it. For even wanting to leave the world he’s living in.

 

That was one of the few reasons why he would rather spend his free time in the small, slightly desolate library at the side of the city instead of the Avengers Tower. It gave him the chance to breathe, to feel like he did not have to carry any burden, to feel normal for a good few hours. He never told anyone he has been using a sum of his salary to fund the small library he discovered few years ago. The librarian, an old woman, gladly opens the library for him and let him roam around the place until he was called in for a mission.

 

Steve liked to sit at the very secluded area in the library. Most days, he would bring his sketchbook and sat for a good few hours, sketching any object he could find. But sometimes, he would sit there and found himself staring out the window, trying to reassure himself he is worthy of life and deserve to feel happy.

 

* * * * *

 

It was a very cloudy Tuesday afternoon and he was back in the library, anxiously waiting for Bucky and Sylvia’s mission. They will be back in less than 24 hours and he shouldn’t be worried, he reminded himself. Not wanting to spend the rest of his free time feeling like a nervous wreck, Steve decided to come back to the tower and monitored their progress. He turned off the lights, a soft smile on his lips as he exited the place. The old lady has gone back home and he was about to lock up the library when he saw a woman appeared from one of the bookshelves near the front door. She looked confused and Steve was surprised to see another person beside him and the librarian inside this small library. His eyes widened in shocked at the sight of her bleeding arm. He quickly pushed aside his curiosity and approached the woman.

 

“Are you alright mam?” he quietly asked. He tried to assess the wound; it was bleeding quite a lot he’s starting to get worried she would faint from the loss of blood.

 

“Yeah. Just a little disoriented.” She looked up and let out a small squeak.

 

“Your arm is bleeding.” He pointed out. He heard her let out a silent curse as she pressed her hand on the wound to stop the bleeding.

 

“I’ll be fi—“ She was about to say but the blood loss seemed to take an effect on her. She fell forwards and Steve was quick enough to grab her shoulders and propped her up.

 

“I’ll take you to a hospital.” He gave her a smile when she tried to protest and almost fell down for the second time.

 

He watched her as recognition flashed in her eyes and finally gave him a small nod. Steve couldn’t help but to notice how his figure towered over her. He locked up the library and led her to his motorcycle.

 

“I’m Eva.” She spoke out when she hopped into Steve’s bike.

 

“I’m Steve.”

 

“I know.” She gave him a small grin and he decided that he likes the childish look she gave him.

 

“Is it that obvious?”

 

“I’m just good at memorizing faces.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We didn't talk about anything heavy or light. We were just there together. And that was enough”   
> ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Steve knew there was a local hospital not far from the library and he hoped Eva would not fuss over the lack of state-of-the-art technology. He’s had a fair share of people he helped near Avengers Tower who was not very happy to be admitted to a middle-class hospital and a stuck-up woman is not something he’s willing to deal with in this kind of day. His thoughts were scattered when he heard her let out a small whimper. Her uninjured arm was clutched around his waist and he felt her grip tightened after a moment.

 

“Are you okay?” Steve asked as he stole a glance at her wound.

 

“Yeah.” She breathed out and he saw trickles of blood fell on the street.

 

He thanked the God for giving an empty space near the emergency door and quickly parked his bike. Eva patiently waited for him and let him lead her inside. One of the doctors quickly reached them and helped her settled on one of the bed. He was ushered out while nurses closed the curtain around the bed.

 

Steve contemplated on leaving her but his 1940s mentality and his mother’s teaching stopped him. He opted to seat on one of the chairs near the reception desk and pulled out his phone instead. It’s funny how people in the tower thought he would have difficulties adapting to future technology. He was in an army, dealing with what was considered an advanced technology and Howard Stark was one of his close friends, which made him quite well informed with technological developments. The sight of his phone-courtesy of Stark Industry- made him nostalgic. Howards would’ve loved this, he thought to himself as his thumbs expertly typed a short text to his fellow Avengers.

 

_How is the mission? Are they okay?_

_I may have been caught in a little situation._

_Nothing to worry about. – S_

 

He put his phone back when the curtain was opened and he saw Eva lightly jumped off the bed, her arm was cleaned and bandaged. A brief surprise flashed across her face when their eyes met and he knew she did not think he would’ve waited for her. The warm smile she gave him made him feel his waiting was worth it, though. She slowly approached him and lifted her bandaged arm.

 

“A few stitches but I’ll live.” She grinned.

 

“Glad to know that.” Steve gave her a smile.

 

“Thank you, Steve.” She looked at him after a moment of silence. They were standing outside the small hospital and Steve noticed her nervous smile as she curled a loose strand of hair behind her ear. They stayed in silence for another minute before they heard a soft grumbling noise. Steve raised his eyebrows in amusement while she let out a sheepish smile.

 

“Sorry. I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning.” She admitted and he leaned back to look at the clock before he cleared his throat.

 

“I could take you to a diner?” He said, blushing a little when he saw her smile.

 

“Yeah. That’d be great.”

 

 

* * * * *

 

Strangers made him anxious, especially strangers who knew him. He knew they had some kind of image of him implemented in their heads and it made him extremely self-conscious. It was probably why he surprised himself when he realized he was actually enjoying his time with Eva. It was nice to talk to someone, he told her while they waited for their food to arrive. Someone he could relate to, he added when she stared at him in confusion.

 

They had a length conversation throughout the dinner and Steve tried to file everything he discovered in his brain. She enjoys silence as much as him, he realized. She loves art even though she cannot draw to save her life. She’s a vet and she was trying to help an injured animal when it accidentally ripped her skin with its claws, she explained while pointing her finger at her arm.

 

“I’ve had worse so it’s okay.” She shrugged when she saw his concerned expression.

 

“Sylvia would’ve healed your wounds.” He had mentioned his fellow avengers during their talk. She didn’t say anything and put a piece of fries into her mouth.

 

“She sounds like a nice person.” Eva told him.

 

“She is. A bit stubborn but she’s lovely.” Steve chuckled and proceed to tell her about the incident where they got into a small fight, leaving out any important details.

 

Steve was once again surprised by his own ability to actually feel quite content when he heard her laugh. It has been a long time since he felt it, since he didn’t feel like the world is upon his shoulders and he pondered if she would want to see him again after this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it so far? Let me know what you think :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Some day you will find out that there is far more happiness in another's happiness than in your own.”   
> ― Honoré de Balzac, Père Goriot

Steve was not used to any of this, the flowing conversation, feeling at ease and anxious at the same time, cracking jokes without having to worry if she will be appalled by his humor. Steve spent a good time of his life as the sickly guy from Brooklyn and driving away women was his specialty. He was reminded of the women introduced him and how they stared at him like a sick animal. He didn't blame them, he couldn't. He wasn't as built as now and even if Bucky told him he was good looking, he knew women would rather settled with a guy like his best friend, tall, charming, good looking, and healthy. No one wanted a thin, pale guy who had asthma attack everyday. There was a gnawing feeling in his heart as he parted ways with Eva. She would've been appalled by him if he looked like he used to before the serum, he thought.

 

He mulled over the last hours as he entered the Avengers Tower, deciding how this is too good to be true and he should not think about it anymore. He didn’t have to try very hard when he saw the quinjet arrived earlier than scheduled. His heart raced at what may have happened as he stood behind the line, waiting for them to exit the quinjet. His eye first caught the sight of Bucky who was glaring at him, stopping him from asking any question before he landed his gaze on Sylvia’s shaking figure.

 

“Come, let’s get you settled down.” He gently took her, letting Bucky get a fresh change of clothes.

 

He sat at the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving hers. “What happened, Sylv?” he asked and quickly regretted his action when she started to whimper. Steve pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her, glancing towards the door to find Bucky with a sad smile on his face.

 

“You smell different.” He heard mumble.

 

“Hm?” She had a questioning look on his face as she took the glass Bucky offered her.

 

“You smell flowery.” She scrunched her nose. Steve couldn’t help but think about his afternoon with Eva and cursed himself when he felt heat rising up his cheeks.

 

“Did you meet someone?” She whispered, clearly excited for him.

 

Bucky leaned in and waited for his best friend to say something. Steve’s face reddened and he decided to gave them a small nod, not wanting to explain any further. He wasn’t going to meet her again, he had decided, and the grin that was plastered on Sylvia’s face made him feel a whole new level of guilt. He couldn’t help but to thank Natasha for cutting their conversation.

 

“Hill wanted to talk to you.” Her voice clipped but Steve knew better.

 

“It’s good, Steve. Meeting someone new.” Sylvia gave him her megawatt smile before she left with Bucky trailing behind her.

 

“You don’t look so happy for an old man who just met someone.” Nat’s voice broke his train of thoughts and he looked at her in surprise. She gave him a small smile and sat next to him.

 

“It was nothing. She looked so happy and I feel bad about it.” Steve admitted when he couldn’t find any excuse. Natasha didn’t say anything and patted his back before she left.

 

“Just—stop trying to close yourself up, Steve.” She said before she closed the door behind her, leaving him in silence.

 

* * * * *

 

Steve waited for his two best friends in the bedroom, his mind wandered back to the woman he just met. He tried to replay the moment-one of the only nice moments he had outside the tower- and he forced himself to not think about the very poisonous thoughts that has been lurking ever since he woke up from his 70 years nap. He couldn’t help but to let out a silent sigh of relief when Sylvia and Bucky came back. She was a little too eager to hear about his recent meeting with Eva while Bucky stared at him in an indescribable look on his face. He would have to ask him about it later, he thought.

 

By the time he ended his story, Sylvia was practically trying not to bounce on her seat and Bucky was lounging on the couch with a beer on his hand, his weird expression replaced with a teasing grin. She was adamant to call it his first date, much to Bucky’s amusement.

 

“I’m not going to just ask her out, Sylvia. We just met.” He said for the hundredth time after she told her to call her again.

 

“But she seemed nice! Or you could take her here? I want to see her!” her eyes brightened at the idea that just popped into her head. He noticed Bucky’s lingering gaze at Sylvia and he felt compelled to use it against them. He should not feel this happy, he thought and he grinned.

 

“What if Bucky likes her better than you?” He asked and laughed when Sylvia looked torn at his question. Bucky chocked on his beer and almost threw the bottle at Steve who just laughed harder.

 

“He can’t!” “I won’t like her.” Both of them said at the same time and blushed when they made eye contact.

 

“You have a lot to talk about before you can tease me about Eva.” So that works very well. He stood up and gave them a good pat on the shoulder before leaving the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may be a bit slow but I am trying to tie this with the previous story so it may take a while. The story will be in a faster pace when i covered the base of the story :) How is it ?? :D Leave some feedbacks! I'd love to hear from you guys! And Enjoy :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That smile could end wars and cure cancer.”   
> ― John Green, An Abundance of Katherines

Evangeline Moore has never felt more embarrassed in her life. She was only trying to get her morning coffee fix at the coffee shop and had to be escorted out when she landed a solid punch at a guy who tried to grope a woman in front of him. Damn her and her protective instinct. A tired sigh escaped her lips and her hand unconsciously rubbed the scar along her other arm. People were starting to crowd in and she didn’t like how their gaze lingered on her while they whisper. Her escape was stopped when a woman stopped in front of her.

 

“Hi.” It was the woman from the coffee shop, she noted. Her black hair was tied into a high ponytail and she had two cups of hot coffee in her hands.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I just want to say thank you. I’m sorry they kicked you out like that. I hope this will fix it?” The woman offered one of the cups, which she gratefully accepts.

 

“You don’t have to but thank you. I hope he didn’t get to do anything to you.” Eva frowned at the thought but the woman shook her head, her smile widened as she thanked her again.

 

“I would’ve kicked him in the nuts if he did but I’m glad you stopped him.” She said.

 

“I’m glad to help.” Eva looked at her ringing phone and gave her an apologetic smile. “I really need to go though, work to do. But thank you for the coffee.”

 

“And thanks again.” She was waving at her and Eva let out a sigh of relief when she finally left, grateful that she didn’t mention the long scar on her arm.

 

* * * * *

 

“You really are something, aren’t you?” Eva rubbed the dog’s ear and put him on a leash before they left the veterinary practice.

 

“Are you taking the dog?” Eva’s colleague asked, his eyes fixed on the dog.

 

“Yeah. I’ve taken care of the paperwork. He’s coming home with me. Good night, Alex.” Eva smiled and closed the door behind her.

 

“Let’s buy some dog food before we go home, Dumbo.”

 

* * * * *

 

Steve stared at the woman who was busy petting her gray dog, wondering if he should pretend he didn’t see her or if he should come up to her and say hi. He finally opted the latter and approached her, his hands felt clammy in his jeans pocket as he summoned the courage to greet her. She looked up and gave him the same warm smile and let him sit next to her while the dog bounced in front of them in excitement.

 

“Sorry, Dumbo’s a little excited to have a home.” She chuckled.

 

“Dumbo, the elephant?” He watched her nod before he continued. “It’s a fitting name.” He pointed at the dog’s flappy ears and his slightly round torso.

 

“It is.” There was a hint of sadness in her voice that was quickly replaced with a curious tone. “What brings you here?”

 

“Library.” He showed her his sketchbook.

 

Steve’s eyes landed on her scar and knitted his eyebrows in confusion.

 

“Your injury is healing very quickly.” He said, frowning when she quickly tried to cover her arms with her sleeves.

 

“Yeah. The cut wasn’t as deep as I thought.” She awkwardly smiled.

 

They stayed in silence for a while. Steve couldn’t tear his gaze away from her now covered scar. It wasn’t impossible for a cut to heal that quickly, he thought, and he was pretty sure it was deeper than what she tried to coax him to believe.

 

“Steve?” Steve jumped a little when she called his name.

 

“huh?”

 

“Your phone’s ringing.” She smiled and pointed her finger to the phone he has been holding.

 

He slides his thumb across the screen and put the phone next to his ear. Eva watched his cheeks pinked and her lips curved into a small smile. He was trying to stop the caller from talking and when he finally ended the call, she heard him let out a huge breath of relief.

 

“Sorry, that was my friend.” He sheepishly said. Eva’s gaze lingered on him.

 

“Hey, Steve?” she asked and waited for him to look at her.

 

“yes?”

 

“Would you like to have a cup of coffee or tea with me?” Steve saw her eyes widened a little, as if she was surprised by her own question.

 

“uh—yeah?” He nervously replied and smiled when she breathed out and gave him a huge smile.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! how was it so far?   
> Sorry for the slow update. I'm doing my thesis and it'll be due in a week so it's pretty hectic. I will try to update more next week if I have finished with my project. Wish me luck :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is no illusion greater than fear.”   
> ― Lao Tzu

Steve arrived in front of her apartment few minutes before the clock strikes 4. They had agreed to go to a near coffee place not far from the Avengers Tower and Steve, being the gentleman that he is, offered to pick her up. He noticed her doubtful look before she nodded. He didn’t say anything and hand her his phone. She seemed to be surprised by his mannerism and he didn’t know if he should feel offended or not.

 

He swallowed his saliva and tried not to show how nervous he was when he knocked on the door. All plans of looking confident went down the drain when she opened the door, revealing herself clad in a burgundy sweater and a pair of skinny jeans. Her ankle boots gave her a few inches even though she was still a lot shorter than him. She gave him a small smile and he felt his stomach turned.

 

“You look nice.” He managed to say and felt a boost of confidence when a faint blush appeared on her cheeks.

 

“You too, Steve.” She replied as she locked the door.

 

He noticed her fidgeting as they headed out of the building and couldn’t help but asked.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, I just—I don’t do a lot of dating.” She admitted, her face red in embarrassment that Steve found very endearing.

 

“Me too. I haven’t been on a date for 70 years.” He joked and smiled when she laughed.

 

* * * * *

 

Eva did not miss Steve’s glance towards her covered arm as they walked. She was certain he had a lot of questions he would like to ask her about her arm and she felt more self-conscious about it. Her hand unconsciously went to cover her arm and she tried to direct the conversation away from her arm.

 

He was nice and funny and awkward, she realized during their date, and he was so much more than that. There were short moments where Steve’s smile suddenly fell and he looked more vulnerable than she has ever seen before. And she had to bit her lips and stopped herself from asking too much questions. She noticed the tight-lipped smile and the hand that occasionally rubbed his neck, and she couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t enjoy it as much as she did.

 

 

Her curious nature finally got the better of her. She managed to stop Steve from leaving when he dropped her off. His eyes were blue and very calming; she filed that under the list of traits she loves about him.

 

“Um…” Steve waited for her to continue.

 

“I wanted to apologize for asking you out like this.” She finally said.

 

“What?”

 

“You look distracted and you look like you were having a bad time so I thought—“ she trailed off and her eyes watched for any hints of relief in Steve’s face and frowned in confusion when he shook his head with a smile.

 

“It’s not that. I had a great time with you, Eva. Who wouldn’t like to have cup of coffee spilled by a beautiful dame like you? –I mean woman.” He sheepishly grinned and she recalled the first hour of their date and how she accidentally spilled her coffee on his shirt. He had to buy a new one, which she paid after a long debate. She looked up and her mouth formed an ‘O’.

 

“Oh— I thought you hated it.” She flushed red in embarrassment.

 

Steve’s lips curved into a soft smile as he watched her blushed.

 

“I had a bad day before we went on this date. That’s why I was a little distracted. I’m sorry.” He told her, surprised by his own honesty. He probably needs someone to talk to that was not an Avengers and she was the perfect person, he thought.

 

 

“What? Is everything okay in the tower? You shouldn’t be out on a date if there’s a problem, right?” She looked panicked at the thought of Steve leaving the tower to go on a date and he couldn’t suppress his laughter.

 

“I must be mad if I cancel this date. And I did have a great time, Eva.” He softened.

 

“You’re not the only one, Cap.” She gave him a grin, stepping closer and gave him a chaste kiss on his cheek.

 

They said their goodbyes, with Steve promising her he would take her on a better date.

 

“Steve?” She called out before he left with his bike.

 

“You can talk to me if you need someone to talk to.” She smiled and went inside her apartment building.

 

Steve went home with a smile on his face. Sylvia and Bucky would be ecstatic to hear his date went quite well, he thought. Eva’s kiss still lingered on his cheeks and it made him feel emotions that he didn’t know still exist. It was nice to be able to breath for a moment. His smile faltered when he saw his reflection in the glass door. This kind of happiness scares him, as if preparing him for something worse. So he tried to push the bubbling emotions back inside and headed to his bedroom. Don’t rush it, Steve, he told himself as he forced himself to sleep.

 

* * * * *

 

Eva has always been a rational person, so when Steve didn’t call her as he promised, and the news showed footage of an ambush, she knew something must have happened. She stopped across the tower on her way to work, wondering if she could do something to help. Her fear would get the best of her and she would look away from the tower. She had been waiting and hiding for years, she should be able to hide for another week or so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I just finished my final project (thesis). Had final presentation this tuesday and I passed! I still need to revise my paper but I will be able to update more often now. Thank you for waiting, and I'm sorry for being so late   
> I hope you enjoy this! Tell me what you think :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don't be afraid of your fears. They're not there to scare you. They're there to let you know that something is worth it.”   
> ― C. JoyBell C.

Eva didn't hear from Steve for the rest of the week. And when two weeks passed without hearing from him, she stopped hoping for him to show up and busied herself with work. She left her place, grab a coffee on her way to work, and spent the whole day in the veterinary clinic. It was a boring life, she realized, but safe, which is her utmost priority.

 

She tried to push down the dull ache in her heart every time she passed the tower. This morning was no different. She forced herself to look away from the tower while she waited for her coffee. Her fingers were busy typing emails for her colleagues when her ears picked up a conversation between a woman and a man behind her. She would've ignored the visible tension between the two of them if Steve's and her name weren't mentioned. She paused her music and tried to listened more to what seemed like a very serious conversation.

 

"Do you even know what she looks like?" The woman sounds annoyed.

 

"No. Steve's pretty closed up, if you don't know by now, Nat. Do you think Jarvis can found her?"

 

"Maybe. Steve would be pissed if he knew we're trying to find his secret girlfriend."  Eva felt heat rising up her cheeks.

 

"Cap's an idiot for trying handle everything by himself--" his sentence were cut when the barista called out her name.

 

Eva jumped and she was sure they were watching her movement. Her suspicion was confirmed when she took her coffee and turned around to see them staring at her for a milisecond. She flashed them a nervous smile before she quicky left the coffeeshop.

 

*****

 

 

"Evangeline?"

 

Clint looked up in surprise and watch the woman in front of her jumped a little before retrieving her drink. He looked at Nat, who was busy watching her and he saw the woman flashed them a small smile when she caught them staring at her. Her figure quickly dissappeared among the crowds outside and he caught Nat took out her phone to type something to JARVIS.

 

"Do you think...?" Clint trailed off.

 

"Maybe. She has a vet clinic logo on her bag, probably her workplace. We should check if there's a vet clinic near that small library and if they have ab Eva there." Nat was efficient and had the informations she needs by the time their coffees were ready.

 

"There's not much I can find on her." Nat grumbled as they entered the tower.

 

"That's weird."

 

"Or suspicious." She looked at Clint.

 

Clint went to his laptop when they got back to Avengers quarter. Jarvis provided them with informations on 'Evangeline' and Clint assigned himself to read any useful information he could find. Nat left to train and went back a few hours later to find Clint frowning at his laptop.

 

"What's up?"

 

"This is weird. Do you know that there are about 3 Evangeline with the identical face? Jarvis pulled out some files and i thought there was a mistake or something. Her mother AND grandmother went by the same name." Clint showed her his laptop. "Nat?" Clint asked when Nat froze.

 

"That's not her mother and her grandmother. This is the same person, clint. Look at the birthmark near her right shoulder." Nat pointed out.

 

"Holy shit. She's like 90 years old?! That's as old as Steve!"

 

"Who's as old as me?" They quickly closed the laptop when Steve entered the room.

 

"Some old lady we met in the cafe." Nat shrugged.

 

"So, any news on Sylvia?" Clint tried to change the subject and he noticed Steve stared at him for another second before he shook his head.

 

"We're waiting for Jarvis to get new locations. It might take a while..." Nat saw Steve's eyes lingered on their cups of coffee and her lips curved into a tiny smile.

Steve was exhausted and he was sure he would've collpased if it weren't for his serum. Bucky's back, which is great, but Sylvia is still missing and Bucky's panicked rant on Stucker's plan to brainwash her is not exactly a comforting news. He was nearing his limit and he kept thinking of leaving everything and start anew. His dreams were plague by Eva's bittersweet smile before her death and he would woke up drenched in cold sweat. He didn't have the courage to pick up the phone and talk to her, too afraid to put her in danger. He did try to go to the small park near her clinic, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. He was too scared to follow through his plan and went back before her shift is over.

 

He stopped in front of the door and took a deep beath before he entered the avengers quarter. He overheard Nat and Clint talking about someone and decided to join the conversation.

 

"Who's as old as me?" He asked and was surprised to see them slammed their laptop shut.

 

"Just an old lady from the cafe." Nat shrugged and Steve didn't press further, allowing Clint to change the subject of the conversation.

 

They talked about the progress with Sylvia's search and he caught Clint gaping at his laptop once in a while.

 

"Hey cap, how's your girlfriend?" Tony Stark entered the room and Steve saw satisfied smirk when he choked on his sandwich.

 

"She's not my girlfriend, Stark."

 

"I bet JARVIS could find her in an hour or less." Tony challenged, oblivious to Natasha's and Clint's tense postures. "What's with you and her anyway? I thought you like her." Stark poured himself a coffee and sat across them.

 

"I'm not going to get her into this mess, Tony." Steve sighed, his eyes paused at his phone for a mere second.

 

"Stop trying to stop yourself from being happy, Cap. That's not healthy. Besides, you're Captain America. She's better protected with you than without." Tony shrugged.

 

Steve stayed silent, trying to push the thoughts away. Was his fear really that obvious? He thanked the gods when Bucky walked inside and told them of some progress on Sylvia's whereabouts.

 

"Call her. You won't regret it." Tony gave him a small smile before joining in the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, what do you think of the story so far??  
> Leave some comments cause i love hearing from you guys :D
> 
> I have been a little busy this week, mainly because I had to revised my thesis paper, and didn't know it was due on friday. lol
> 
> anyway, enjoy!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I have a million things to talk to you about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning.”   
> ― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

Friday’s shift is almost over and Eva couldn’t wait to get home to her dog and pampered herself. The week has been hectic and exhausting. She slipped into the small restroom and pulled out her coat’s sleeves, revealing a gash on her arm. She let out a small hiss when she touched it.

 

“Eva? You okay?” One of her colleague knocked on the door and asked.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a minute.” She put her hand on her wound and felt the stinging pain slowly disappear, replaced with tingling warmth. She waited for a few moments before she flushed the toilet and unlocked the door, greeting her friend with a sheepish smile.

 

“Is that blood?!” Her colleague asked in shock, pointing at her stained sleeve.

 

“Yeah, one of the animals was injured pretty bad.” She smoothly lied.

 

He nodded in understanding and she used the moment to walk back to her clinic room. She took off her coat and changed into a T-shirt. Her movement came into a halt when she heard the phone beeped.

 

‘from : Unknown Number

 

I’m sorry.

-Steve’

 

Her lips pursed as she stared at her phone longer than she was supposed to. She was ready to accept the fact she will not be able to be in love with anyone else and she was fine with that. But here he is, a month later, asking for an apology and she did not know how to react. Her phone beeped again, signaling an incoming text.

 

From : Uknown Number

 

I was an asshole.

-Steve

 

She smiled at the second text, jumping in shock when someone entered her room and cleared his throat. Eva quickly turned around to find the text sender standing with a small bouquet of flowers she didn’t know the names of and a sheepish smile.

 

“Hi.” He softly said.

 

“Hi.” She gave him a small smile and approached him.

 

“Oh this is for you.” He had a panicked look on his face for a second when she held the flowers and her lips pressed into a thin line.

 

“Is this a peace offering?” She asked after a moment of silence.

 

He saw the twinkle in her eyes and how her lips slightly curved into a tiny smirk and felt the nerve melt away from his body. He gave her a nod and let out a quiet breath of relief when she chuckled.

 

“It’s beautiful, Steve.” She grabbed her bag and let him led her out of the door. “You’re forgiven too. But don’t expect me to forgive you every time you left for no reason, Steve.” Steve saw her expression hardened for a millisecond before she turned to him with a smile on her face.

 

“I won’t.”

 

“Good.”

 

“So, dinner?”

 

* * * * *

 

Steve offered to make them dinner in her apartment, since she looked too tired to eat out. She agreed and waited patiently while he cooked them a simple meal. The dinner was another nice experience, aside from the obvious tension that still lingered between them. He looked like he was in two different places at once and she looked like she wanted to tell him something big.

 

“I feel like I owe you an explanation” “I need to tell you something.”

 

Their eyes widened and Eva cleared her throat, gesturing him to start first.

 

“I was scared.” He confessed.

 

“Scared? Of me?”

 

“No!” he quickly said. “It was just—I am Captain America and people bound to get hurt when they’re close to me. I don’t want to put the woman I really like in danger. It’s not worth it.” He told her with a sad smile on his face.

 

“I like you too, Steve. And I can protect myself too, you don’t have to worry about that.” She said after a while.

 

“I know. I just— I don’t know. This whole thing with Peggy really messed me up. I don’t know what I want anymore. I spent these past years wondering around, regretting the missed opportunities with her and I guess I got spooked out when I finally moved on and found someone new, someone that I really like. I feel like I am betraying Peggy and you.”

 

“I don’t think we can ever forget our first love.” She told him, “And moving on is not equal to betraying her, Steve. She had a good life and you deserve a good life too.”

 

Steve gratefully smiled at her and watched her demeanor changed 180 degrees when he asked about what she was going to tell him. She bit her lips and fidgeted on her seat. Her eyes went down to her now empty plate and she took a deep breath.

 

“Um… Do you remember the first time we met? When I got hurt?” She waited for him to nod before she continued, “And you look surprised when it completely healed when we met the second time.” She finished.

 

“It was a very deep wound and I don’t know how you can heal that quickly unless—“

 

“I heal myself.” She finished. Her sentence was followed by a long period of silence and she wondered if he will ran away after his confession.

 

“I know.” He finally said.

 

“You knew?!” She looked up in surprise.

 

“Well, I saw Clint and Nat working on their laptop and I overheard them talking about you a few times. They mentioned something about regeneration and I put two and two together.” Steve shrugged.

 

“They knew about me?” she looked at Steve who blushed.

 

“I mentioned our date and they get too curious since I didn’t tell them your name. They may have searched about you.” He confessed.

 

Eva swallowed the insecurities and paranoia inside her and focused herself on Steve’s effort to keep her a secret.

 

“They’re not always like that. They were worried about me, that’s all.” Steve quickly explained.

 

“I understand. It’s nice to have a friend that will go a long way to keep you safe.” She smiled.

 

Steve extended out his arm and put his hand on hers, feeling a surge of happiness when her cheeks tinted pink. He did not know what to tell her and how to express the emotions he felt.

 

“Thank you.” He finally said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! How are you guys? I hope you enjoy this chapter  
> Tell me what you think in the comment section, I would love to hear from you guys and get some feedbacks.  
> Thank you :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When you love you wish to do things for. You wish to sacrifice for. You wish to serve.”   
> ― Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

If there was a world championship on hide-and-seek, Eva was sure she would win. She didn’t have to open her well kept journals to remember the running and hiding from organizations that have heard of her and wanted to get her to join. She was pretty sure she has spent most of her life running away and trying to be as plain as she can be, making sure she will not attract any attention. Living in New York as a vet at a small clinic was the longest occupation she has ever had in her life.

 

She didn’t live a happy life, she knew that and has come to term with it, if not forced to accept her reality. Steve would be surprised how familiar she was with HYDRA and SHIELD. Her mind can still vividly remember her first encounter with HYDRA, how they tried to forced her to join them, how she found out how her healing ability could be used to transfer injuries to other people, and how SHIELD helped her hide her identity.

 

Eva absentmindedly cupped the warm mug and stared at the busy street of New York. The past couple of weeks have made her think about her past and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t afraid. She was fortunate enough that Steve found out and has been very understanding about keeping her ability a secret. But she could feel that dreadful feeling in the pit of her stomach when she thinks about having to tell him more about her. She had finally been able to feel that foreign feeling of butterflies in her stomach and she was too frightened to take a risk. Later, she kept telling herself. I’ll tell him later.

 

* * * * *

 

The tower was huge and there was no way people wouldn’t recognize the enormous Avengers logo that replaced Stark logo after the whole attack with Loki. She was sure the interior was extravagant but Eva was still at loss for words when she finally stepped inside the building. Steve must have noticed her anxiety and was gentleman enough not to say anything but to give her a comforting smile. She had been trying to calm her nerves throughout her trip to the tower, forcing herself to focus on the crucial problem at hand. Steve was there and she knows he’s one of the good guys and she could trust him.

 

“Are you okay?” Steve’s concerned thought finally came out and she stared into his blue eyes, hoping he didn’t see right through her.

 

“Yeah. I’m not used to being in this kind of place.” She forced a smile, hoping her lips didn’t tremble.

 

“Stark was great but he can be a handful. If you want, I could just take you to Romanoff. You know you don’t have to do this, right?” Steve said and gave her another look of concern. There’s a huge possibility she might cry if he kept being so concerned about her wellbeing.

 

 

“Yeah, that’d be great.” She nodded and let him lead her into the elevator.

 

Steve had call her earlier in the evening and told her about how Natasha came back with several gunshot wounds. He was having a panic attack and she was the first person that came to mind. She didn’t hesitate to offer her help and quickly took a cab to the tower. Steve was waiting for her with an unreadable expression on his face.

 

The building reminded her of the times HYDRA took her in. Granted, it didn’t have the cutting edge technology at the time, but there was a similar ambience that made her well-suppressed anxiety surfaced. She didn’t know how to thank Steve when he stared to make small conversations to distract her. Steve probably knew how nervous she was by her rigid composure.

 

They soon arrived at the private hospital floor Stark has built for Avengers, since it will be difficult to get them treated at a regular hospital. Natasha’s room was at the end of the hall. There was a man sitting next to her bed and he immediately jumped on his feet and stared at her.

 

“Barton. This is Eva.” Steve cleared his throat and motioned her to step forward.

 

She smiled and shook his hand. His features looked familiar and she let out an embarrassed yelp when realization dawned upon her.

 

“You’re that guy! I saw you at the coffee shop!” She pointed out.

 

“Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.” He grinned and raised his arms in surrender when he saw Steve’s raised eyebrows. “We were worried about you and wanted to find her.”

 

“You a doctor?” Clint asked when Eva picked up the medical clipboard and started to read the information provided.

 

“I had to familiarize myself with enough medical knowledge to get through a med school. I’m a licensed vet, if you need some sort of credentials.” She grinned.

 

She put the clipboard back and sat on the chair Clint generously offered her. Her hands lightly hovered on Natasha’s stomach wound for a few seconds before she finally rested her hands. She could feel the familiar warmth seeping out of her hands, followed by a stinging pain when she tried to completely healed Natasha.

 

“You look pale.” Clint commented.

 

“I’ll be fine. She should wake up in an hour or two and will be good to go. I hope you could find your friend soon.” Eva recalled Steve telling her about Sylvia’s disappearance and their fruitless attempts to find her.

 

“Thank you. Nat would be happy to know she’ll be able to go to our next mission.” Clint was elated when Eva showed him Natasha’s now healed wound.

 

Eva gave him the most sincere smile she could muster before she left. She could feel a painful jab on her stomach and she begged to God she could get home before Steve realized what happened. But he wasn’t called Captain America for no reason. Steve managed to stop her before she could get inside.

 

“When you healed Nat…” He started, his eyes glancing at her stomach. “Did you transfer her wound to your body?”

 

She had to look away from his piercing blue eyes. What is she supposed to say? That she felt useful for the first time in her life, finally finding a sense of purpose and she did want Natasha to be completely healed so they could continue their mission. Her silence was enough of an answer for Steve. He let out a small sigh and gently tugged her into his embrace.

 

“You shouldn’t do that. But thank you.” He mumbled.

 

“You would’ve done the same.”

 

“I would.” He sheepishly smiled.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I hope you are still enjoying this story.  
> I would love to hear some feedbacks from you guys. :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “In those days I learned that nothing is more frightening than a hero who lives to tell his story, to tell what all those who fell at his side will never be able to tell.”   
> ― Carlos Ruiz Zafón, The Shadow of the Wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It would be best to read the previous story to understand this better.

He didn’t feel anything at first. Everything happened so fast and he only remembered being thrown out of the building. Then the emotions came rushing at once. The anger, the anguish and the pain when he finally came to his senses were unbearable. He was trying to get up with the help of Bucky and the next thing he knows, the building exploded. But even the deafening noise from the crumbling building couldn’t deaden the strangled cry Bucky made. There was a long silence afterwards, when everyone was too petrified to move except for Bucky who frantically called out Sylvia’s name. Natasha’s crying snapped him out of his thoughts and Steve approached Bucky, putting his arm on his best friend’s shoulder.

 

“Bucky, I don’t think she’s—“

 

“She’s alive. She has to be alive, Steve.” This is the voice of a broken man, he thought to himself and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Bucky needs him now, he thought, and he needed to be strong for his best friends. He wiped his tears and gently pointed out Bucky’s reddened palms.

 

“Your hand is burned. Let’s get you fixed up.” His voice sounds weird in his ears.

 

“I need to find her, Steve. Please.” Bucky begged him and Steve saw Nat crouched down beside him with sorrowful eyes.

 

“We need to find her.” Her voice was unbelievably fragile as she started to search the ruins for Sylvia’s body.

 

“Nat…” Steve softly called out and the red head stopped trying to push away a huge chunk of ruin.

 

“She wouldn’t want to stay inside Hydra’s base. We should take her out. Save her.” Steve saw droplets of tears fell down her cheeks to the concrete ground.

 

“I’ll call for help. We need to get her out of here.” He listened to Tony, feeling oddly detached from his surrounding.

 

He didn’t say anything and let Thor helped Natasha back to the helicarrier. Bucky stayed rooted on his spot next to his with his hair covering his face and Steve had to blinked away the tears as he tried to steadied Bucky.

  
“I should stay and wait.” Bucky finally looked up.

 

“I’ll stay with you.” Steve nodded with a sad smile on his face.

 

Steve finally let out a sob after the search party finally left. His lips quivered as he tried to catch his breath and Bucky sat next to him in silence, allowing him a moment to mourn. He felt a rush of guilt as he recalled his last conversations with Sylvia. Did he have the chance to take her hand and pulled her with him? Did he have the chance to save her in any way? Is he even capable of saving the people he loves? The thoughts swarmed over him and he couldn’t help but to voiced out an apology to Bucky.

 

“She told me to leave, Buck.”

 

“That’s just very Sylvia, isn’t it?” He heard Bucky said.

 

“I should’ve grabbed her and took her out.” Steve watched a sad smile appeared on Bucky’s despondent expression.

 

“It’s not your fault, Steve.” That comforting sentence didn’t lessen the guilt he was feeling and his feeling of incompetence in protecting people he cares about. His dark thoughts made him think about Eva and her brightened expression whenever he mentioned his friends in the tower, and he felt another sudden pang of sadness.

 

“I didn’t get to introduce her to my date.”

 

“She would love to meet her, I bet.” That got him a smile from Bucky and Steve let out a small laugh.

 

“She would’ve pestered me to marry her, probably.” His reply slightly lightened the atmosphere and both of them let out a small laugh.

 

“I miss her already.” Bucky confessed when they finally walked away from the scene.

 

“Me too.”

 

* * * * *

 

Her shift lasted longer than usual and she was ready to pass out by the time she arrived in front of her apartment building. She carefully rubbed her eyes, trying her best not to smear her make up and let out a small squeak when she noticed a man leaning on the wall in front of her door. She felt heart twisted when the man looked up. There was Steve—the Steve Rogers that always looked strong even when he confided in her—leaning on the wall looking battered, his eyes red and swollen, and she can see traces of tears when she came closer. He gave her his usual sad side-loped smile and she put her bags on the floor to pulled him into a hug. She felt him shook a little, probably crying, and stayed silent, her hands gently rubbing his back.

 

“Come in.” She led him inside and let him sit on one of the couches while she went to the kitchen to make a cup of hot tea. She let her dog eagerly jumped into the couched and put its head on Steve’s lap.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go. Everything was so chaotic and I just—“ Steve started to ramble when she came back with his tea.

 

“Slow down, Steve.” She offered him the tea, which he gratefully took.

 

“You got hurt.” She said as she sat next to him and put her hand on his swollen cheek.

 

Steve felt a weird tingling sensation on his cheek and stopped her. She gave him a confused look.

 

“It’s only a scratch. It’s okay.” He told her.

 

“You don’t look okay, Steve.” Her statement hung in the air and he gathered the courage he has left in him to look at her, his eyes already bloodshot red.

 

“She died.” His voice broke and Steve let her pulled him into her arms. He rested his head on her shoulder and started to cry.

 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Steve.” She told him, tears brimming in her eyes while she rubbed his back. She let him cry on her shoulder until he was too exhausted to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. I hope you're still reading this story. I hope you enjoy this story.  
> don't forget to leave a comment and tell me what you think. :)


	10. chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person.”   
> ― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Chapter 10

 

Steve saw Bucky changed. He felt guilty. She secretly came to the funeral after everyone left. Steve saw her and thanked her for coming.

 

Pepper Potts offered to arrange a private funeral for Sylvia and Thor came back from his short trip to Asgard with some kind of lanterns that the Asgardian use for their funerals. Everyone seemed to busy themselves with the funeral preparation. It was a very exhausting day and Steve quietly witnessed Tony crying in front of the empty casket that has just arrived.

 

“How’s Bucky?” Clint Barton approached Steve who was trying to keep it together. They were all wearing their formal wear for the funeral.

 

“I don’t know.” He replied, eyes trained on Bucky as they waited for the rest of their friends to arrive.

 

The funeral was held at a cemetery where they ‘buried’ Nick Fury not long ago. Natasha cried during the procession and Steve had to look away from the sight of his friends’ tears. He had a startled look on his face when he saw a familiar figure under a tree on the sidewalk and his lips curved into a smile, feeling his heart swelled. Eva was there, with her black dress and her black flats, her hair loosely tied behind her head. She took off her sunglasses and gave him a small, comforting smile.

 

Clint quietly stood behind everyone else and the short contact between the two did not escape his observation. He waited until Steve turned back and watched the woman took a seat on a bench under a tree not far from them. She has dark blonde hair, probably dyed, he noted and she seemed surprised when she noticed his gaze, giving him an awkward smile that he quickly returned.

 

The procession didn’t last long though it felt like hours for Bucky. They buried the empty casket and Steve had to force him to leave the place. He finally looked up when he felt someone staring at him, his eyes meeting a woman’s eyes. He didn’t say anything though he noticed Steve’s demeanor changed. Her lips curved into a gentle smile as she approached them. She stopped in front of them and she looked a little surprised when she finally gets a good look at him. It didn’t surprise him, though. He was still covered in bruises from yesterday’s fight and he had one of his arm covered in bandages due to the explosion. He shook his thoughts away and offered his hand for her to shake. She covered his hand with hers. It was warm and oddly comforting.

 

“I’m sorry for your loss.” She whispered. Bucky saw Steve moved away when Natasha called him out. Seeing Steve will be talking for a while, he motioned her to sit on the bench with him.

 

“I’m sorry we have to meet again this way.” She finally spoke.

 

“Again?” he voiced out his confusion.

 

She looked uncomfortable for a moment but took a deep breath before her smile is back on her face.

 

“We met once. When you saved Steve from an alley behind the theater. He was trying to save me.” She explained and Bucky recalled a memory of saving Steve from a bully and helping a young woman who was crouching on a corner.

 

_He was going to meet Steve near the theatre when he heard a familiar voice._

_“You just don’t know when to give up, do you?” the man asked._

_“I can do this all day.” Bucky let out a sigh when he heard a reply he all knew too well and quickened his pace towards the alley, pulling the man away from his friend._

_“Hey! Pick on someone your own size.” He successfully landed a kick on the man’s back before he scurried away. Steve was holding the cover of a metal trash can as a shield and Bucky went to him to help him out._

_“Sometimes I think you like getting punched.”_

_“I had him on the ropes.” Steve grumbled while Bucky picked up his enlistment form._

_“How many times is this? You’re from Paramus now?” Bucky sighed. “You know it’s illegal to lie on the enlistment form… And seriously, Jersey?”_

_“You get your orders?” Steve cut him off before he could rant more._

_“The 107 th. Sergeant James Barnes, shipping out for England first thing tomorrow.” He tried to proudly say it in front of Steve but the man was looking anywhere else but him._

_“I should be going.” He mumbled._

_“Come on, man. My last night! I got to get you cleaned up.” He grabbed Steve’s shoulders and lead him out of the alley but his stubborn friend seemed rooted on the spot, glancing back a few times._

_“Why? Where are we going?”_

_“The future.” Bucky replied but Steve shook his head and turned around._

_“No. I mean, we cannot leave her.” He pointed at the dumpster. Bucky was going to rolled his eyes when he caught the sight of a woman standing up from behind the pile of trash._

_“What the hell? What happened?!” he watched Steve helped the woman cleaned up her dress and she looked a little frightened when she saw him._

_“It’s okay, Lily. That’s my best friend.” Bucky heard Steve comforts the woman._

“You were the dumpster girl.” Bucky’s eyes widened in realization and heard her laughed.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Your name wasn’t Eva. And how come you still look like you’re in your 20s?” Bucky turned to her.

 

“I was your schoolmates for a few years, though I doubt you’ll remember me. Steve and I talked for a few times and I was called Lily back in the day.” She explained her abilities; seeing that there’s nothing wrong to tell him about her. Steve trusts him, that should be enough, she thought.

 

They both went on to talk about how she and Steve met and Bucky felt a sense of gratitude for letting her take his mind off of Sylvia, even if it was for a short moment.

 

Steve went back to them, his eyes darting between the two of them nervously.

 

“She’s a keeper, Steve.” Bucky patted his back, ignoring the sadness that started to surface again. He left the two of them, figuring he needs some time alone.

 

“Uhm, Bucky?” She called him out. He stopped on his track and found her jogging towards him.

 

“I can’t do much for you but I hope this is enough. I also didn’t get to thank you properly.” She put a hand on his injured arm, "You were hurt so much and I cannot lessen the pain you're feeling but I can at least help you with your physical wound. Is that okay?" She asked and he absentmindedly nodded, clearly confused by her. She smiled at him, her hand finally left his arm. 

 

“You can talk to me if you need a friend to talk to.” She smiled before turning away and walking back to Steve and Bucky swore he saw her winced a little when Steve grabbed her arm.

 

Bucky watched them leave and his gaze went to his arm when he felt a weird sensation on his skin. His metal arm quickly unwrapped them bandages and he took a sharp intake of breath when he saw his skin has completely healed, though there’s still a slight discoloration on his skin. He was in a shock he didn’t even realize Clint was making his way towards him.

 

“Wow, you healed quickly.” The archer commented.

 

“Yeah.” He looked back at his arm.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been having writer's block lately and just couldn't write anything. I'm trying to get back on writing again and hopefully I could finish writing this story.   
> If you have any opinions on the story, feel free to comment and tell me what you think :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’ll tell yourself anything you have to, to pretend that you’re still the one in control.”   
> ― Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart

Steve watched her drove the car back to her place, his heart constricted in pain as the cemetery gets further away. He felt an immense sense of guilt, for not being able to protect his friend and save her, for letting Bucky feels the grief he felt when Peggy passed away, for helplessly watching his friends cried. She returned his gaze for a mere second before focusing on the road, but Steve knows she knows.

 

“You want to talk about it?” She softly asked.

 

“I just… I need some quiet.” He told her and she nodded in understanding, letting the soft tune in the radio filled the car. He watched her put her hand on his for a moment and felt an odd calming sensation.

 

“I’m trying to lower your serotonin level. It’s a temporary effect. You look like you haven’t slept in days.” She smiled when he gave her a grateful smile.

 

“Can you do this every day? I like not having to feel like crap…” He mumbled as he drifted to sleep, exhaustion finally taking over him.

 

* * * * *

 

Eva let her mind drifts back to the first day they met as she drove them back to her place. Steve was around her height, with smaller body than hers. She was on her way out of the theater when she heard a faint meowing sound. Damned her weak heart for stray animals, she somehow ended up in a corner of an alley, crouching behind a trash can while a scrawny guy get beaten up to protect her. She offered him the lid of the trashcan to defend himself, which he gratefully took. And when his best friend saved him and tried to lead him away, he walked back to her and asked her if she’s injured. That was when she recognized him, Steve Rogers, the target of bullies in her school, the nice and reckless guy who would never back down from a fight. Eva also remembered his friend, Bucky Barnes, who looks like he wants to put Steve on a leash. They didn’t hang out much, mostly because she always kept to herself and they were always together.

 

“Hey.” Steve’s voice broke her train of thoughts.

 

“Hm?”

 

“You missed a turn.” He pointed out and chuckled when she cursed under her breath.

 

“Bucky likes you, you know.” He spoke out when they get out of the car.

 

“That’s… nice.” She nodded and added, “We talked about the first day we met. He remembered me.”

 

Steve remembered her story and he was positive he looked a lot more ridiculous than she portrayed. It occurred to him how long she’s been in love with him, from her little telltales he finally pieced together and realized how different his life would be if he had the courage to ask her out that day in the alley.

 

She let him sleep at her place that night, not a single complain escaped her lips when he woke up from his recurring nightmares. She wrapped her arms around him, humming the song he used to listen to when they were little, her soft voice lulling him back to sleep. He woke up early in the morning for a mission brief, placing a note for her to read when she woke up before he left.

 

Maria Hill handed him his mission folder when he stepped into the avengers quarter. It was the first time they didn’t exchange playful banter during a briefing though Steve noticed the casual clothing Maria Hill was wearing instead of her usual form-fitting suit. He become aware of Bucky’s stare and quickly took a seat next to him.

 

“Technically, this is not an official mission. So, if you have a problem with that, you can walk out of this mission.” She started.

 

Steve looked down at his own folder and skimmed through the pages before he straighten up his back. No one moved and he watched Hill’s lips formed a small smile. She cleared her throat and quickly pulled out her tablet to gave them a scrupulous details on the mission. Clint and Bucky, as usual, get the privilege to be the team’s snipers while he and Nat would be the first team to go in first, followed by Tony Stark and Thor. Bruce offered to stay with Maria Hill and will only let the green guy out when it’s really necessary. They stayed silent during the briefing, moving only when Maria Hill finished their briefing and told them to reassemble in 15 minutes.

 

Steve took out his phone to text Eva, knowing this would take more than a day. She replied with a series of sentences telling him to be careful. Bucky gave him a friendly pat in the back as he passed by, obviously aware of the text message he was reading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short update on the story. I hope you guys still enjoy it and i look forward to see what you think! Leave comments and tell me what you think of the story so far :D  
> thank you for reading, subscribing and the kudos


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry for the long hiatus. I have writers block and i really feel lost with this story even though I have the whole plot written.   
> I know Eva healed Natasha in previous chapters and I would like to remind you that it wasn't when Sylvia and her got into a fight (See: Tracing Back Time) so if you read that too, i hope you don't get too confused with it :)

Eva woke up that day with a slight headache, courtesy of yesterday’s late shift. She let out a small groan and lied on the bed for a good few minutes, wondering if Steve would be home today as he told her. She didn’t know when was the last time she saw Steve. Well, she did know actually. It was two weeks ago but with how he ignored her most of the time, he might as well not come and see her. She understood that he was grieving for Sylvia and busy with missions but it would be nice to have him for herself, even for a short moment. She let out a silent sigh as she got up from the bed and left the room, Dumbo trailing behind her, eager for the new day.

 

Her phone beeped a couple of times, signaling an incoming text and she sauntered back to her bedroom to retrieve the phone. There were a couple of text messages, one from her friend at work, thanking her for covering her shift, three from Steve and one from an unknown number. She quickly typed a quick reply to her friend and proceeds to ignore Steve’s, opting to read the unknown sender.

 

_From : unknown_

_I stole your number from Steve. Can we meet? – Bucky Barnes_

_To : Bucky Barnes_

_Coffee shop across Avengers Tower in an hour?_

_From : Bucky Barnes_

_Thank you, Eva._

 

Well, there goes her plan to lie on the couch the whole day. She cleaned herself up, feed Dumbo, and grabbed an apple for her breakfast before she left her place. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest. What does Bucky want with her? Did something happened to Steve? She checked Steve’s text and let out a sigh of relief when he told her he will back tonight and will be free for the rest of the weekend.

 

It was one of the most unpleasant taxi ride in her whole life, she thought to herself as she paid for the taxi and entered the small coffee shop. She spotted Bucky sitting at the far end of the place, a strategic place to observe the whole room. He was sipping his coffee, his face haggard and she could see dark circles under his eyes from the entrance door. He did light up when he noticed her presence, which mean she is not in any trouble.

 

“Hi.” She smiled, taking a seat in front of him.

 

“Hi.” He hesitated before he continued, “I don’t know how to approach this topic without sounding weird so I’ll just get right to the point.”

 

“O..kay?”

 

“You can heal, yes? The thing you did at the funeral? You healed the wound in my arm.” Bucky continued and waited for her reaction, feeling a little bad when she paled a little.

 

“Does it have anything to do with how you could stay young for 70 years?” He asked again when she didn’t say anything.

 

“Yes.” She grimly nodded.

 

“I… I know I’m going to sound like an asshole but I really don’t know how to rephrase the question so please don’t be offended.” He told her and she nodded her head once again to let him continue.

 

“Nat got hurt.”

 

“Oh my God. Did something happen?” She was reminded of an incident a few weeks ago when Nat came back with several gunshot wounds and she offered to heal her. The woman has been very kind to her and they may have exchanged texts behind Steve’s back.

 

“She was on a mission and got attacked. We put her in a medically induced coma. Thor has brought some healers from Asgard but they can only do so much since they don’t really know much about human anatomy. She got better but there are still wounds that can’t heal that quickly and it’s quite worrisome—“

 

“You want me to heal her?” She cut his blabbering.

 

There was no way she could say no to Bucky. Not when he looked like a lost puppy.

 

“Yeah. I mean, if you want to, of course!” He casted her a panicked glance. “It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

 

“I can do it. I’ve done it before.” She told him about the time Nat came back with a very serious injury and Steve took her to the medical wing to let Eva heal her.

 

“I didn’t know…”

 

“I told them not to tell anyone. I don’t have the best experiences with this kind of organization, Bucky.”

 

* * * * *

 

Eva entered the room with Bucky without anyone noticing. Clint was there like before, his eyes wide in surprise when he saw her. She gave him a small smile as she moved towards the bed. Natasha was lying on the bed like before. Clint told them the Asgardian had healed most of the worst injuries and she should get better soon though the doctor express a slight concern about a possibility of head trauma and permanently damaged leg.

 

She put her hand on each side of her head and let out a shuddering breath. Injuries in brain usually caused extreme headaches, which she now could feel starting at the back of her own head. She clenched her jaw and moved on to Natasha’s leg, putting her hands on it. Clint told her it was deep cut that almost penetrated her bone and she felt a sense of relief for wearing black jeans.

 

“She should be fine. The Asgardian healer you mentioned did a very good job.” She told them. She forced herself to muster a smile and to properly walk without limping.

 

“I want to ask her if it was Sylvia she fought.” Bucky told her as he walked her back to her home.

 

“Do you think she was alive?”

 

“Everyone thought I was dead for 70 years until they found out I was the winter soldier.” They didn’t say anything else after that. Bucky insisted that he should walk her back to her home. She was feeling more faint by the minute and having someone she knows that could get help for her would be good.

 

“I hope she is still alive.” She told him before he left.

 

Once she was inside, she let out a pained cry. She fell on her knees, her head is killing her and the pain in her leg didn’t help either. She dragged herself to the counter to grab her medical kit, pausing on her way when she saw Steve standing in the kitchen, his face void of emotion.

 

“Steve.” She straightened her back. She saw a flicker of emotion flashed in his eyes when he saw her leg and her pale face.

 

“I was about to leave when Clint told me about you.” He said. “Are you an idiot, Eva?! You could’ve died!”

 

“I can’t die, Steve.”

 

“You can. Look at your damn leg, Eva! What the hell were you thinking!”

 

“Oh now you care?!” She finally exploded. She saw him flinched at her burst of anger. “You have been so distant. You were away too often and when you’re here, it feels like I was alone. And now you decide to care?” She seethed.

 

“I was busy!”

 

“I know you’re Captain America but you’re also someone’s boyfriend. You can’t just decide to leave when you want to and expect me not to get hurt.” She lowered her voice. Her headache has lessened and she could feel the wound in her leg closing up.

 

“I couldn’t let anyone down. I need to be Captain America.” He finally said with a broken cry.

 

“You’re not letting anyone down, Steve.” She walked towards him, feeling all her frustration went away as she wrapped her arms around him.

 

“I’m so tired, Eva. I’m sorry.” He told her as he pulled her closer. “I’m really sorry.” He kept mumbling.

 

“I’m sorry for shouting at you.” She told him. He looked into her eyes and gave her a sad smile as he wiped away the tears from her eyes.

 

“I thought I was doing a good job. I thought I was good. Pushing away my emotions, be strong for everyone.” He whispered. “And I hurt the person I love the most.”

 

“We humans tend to do that, don’t we? Hurting the people we care about.” She smiled back, this time leaning in to give him a small kiss. “I love you too, Steve. And I won’t hesitate to beat some sense into you if you do this again.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.” He felt her body relaxed and pulled her into a searing kiss. It was the only thing right now that made him feel alive and at home.  

 

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not.”  
> ― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of the second story from the series. I will come back with another story for BuckyxSylvia and StevexOC soon :) thank you for reading the story and i hope you enjoyed them as much as i do writing it :)  
> Comments are more than welcomed! Tell me what you think about the story :)

Steve was gone for a mission when she woke the next morning. Her head is still pounding and her leg now propped a faint scar. Eva recalled last night’s fight and the talk that followed. She supposed she was prone to sacrifice herself for others and Steve tried very hard to tell her to slow down and to stop hurting herself. Promises were made that night. She left her bed to take a quick shower before she went to the kitchen to feed her dog. It was a Saturday, which means she had the whole day to herself. Eva grabbed her cereal bowl and plopped down on the couch to watch the TV series she wanted to see. Steve should be home tomorrow night and they could probably talk some more. They haven’t been talking very much and she missed that.

 

It was around 2 a.m. when she received a call from Steve. She quickly woke up when she heard his tired voice.

 

“She’s alive.” He told her.

 

“Sylvia?” She breathed out a sigh of relief, feeling her eyes welled up with tears. Steve briefly told her about what happened during the mission.

 

“That’s great, honey.” Eva smiled.

 

“It is. She’s with Bucky now—“ He paused. “Oh shit, I woke you up, didn’t I?” His concerned voice made her chuckle.

 

“This is good news. I don’t mind, Steve.” She told him. “You should take some rest. You must be tired. Did you get hurt?”

 

“Nothing that’ll kill me, darling.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “Can I come over?” He asked in a timid voice.

 

“Yeah, of course.”

 

“Oh good, I’m about to arrive.” He breathed out and laughed a little.

 

“I’ll see you soon, Steve.” She told him before they ended the call. True to his words, Steve arrived a few minutes after their phone call. He has changed into a pair of sweaters and jeans. And he seemed to have showered as well, she observed.

 

“Hey.” He greeted with a small smile and entered her apartment.

 

There was no need for words as they looked into each other’s eyes before they hug. It felt like coming home, Steve realized as he wrapped his arms around her. She was warm to his touch and he found himself pulled her closer to him. She finally pulled away and put her hands on his cheeks. She brightly smiled at him as she tiptoed to kissed him on the lips. He ran his hair through her hair as he kissed her deeper, more passionate. _This is home,_ Steve thought, feeling overwhelmed by his love for her.

 

They were breathless and flushed when they finally broke the kiss. Her lips were curved into an affectionate smile he adored and he couldn’t help but to leaned for another kiss.

 

“Come on, Cap. As much as I love kissing you, we need to sleep.” She grinned.

 

Steve fell asleep seconds after they settled in on the bed, which says a lot about how exhausted and sleep deprived he was.

 

Steve woke up the next morning with Eva curled against his side. He could probably get used to this, he mused. He wondered if she knew how much darkness in him she has shone a light on and how she has saved him from his own misery. She was so ready to help and to sacrifice herself, he smiled sadly as he traced a line of scar on her arm. It was almost invisible but Steve could still see it. There was a sudden gripping fear of losing her. Steve took a sharp intake of breath and felt his body slightly shook in panic. How far can she go before she breaks herself? He needed to know.

 

“Steve?” Her sleepy voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked down and gave her a forced smile.

 

“What’s wrong?” She slowly sat up, her eyebrows knitted in confusion.

 

“I can’t afford to lose you.” He mumbled. She must’ve heard it because she put her hand on his and gave him a small smile.

 

“You won’t.” she promised.

 

“I love you, you know that, right?” They haven’t really said the words but she probably already know how he feels about her. She turned to him with a grin on her face.

 

“I love you as well, Steve. I love you a lot.” She kissed him. They spent a good 30 minutes cuddling on the bed until he was called in.

 

“Do you want to come with me?” He timidly asked her. It was a ridiculous request. Sylvia was back and everything seemed to be in its place again but he couldn’t shake off the bad feelings. She made him feel safe and at home, which were something he needed right now. She read his expression and nodded, no questions asked.

 

They went back to the Avengers Tower an hour later. Bucky eagerly greeted her with a hug, which confused Steve for a moment until his best friend told him how happy he was that Steve met her. They went to talk for a bit while Eva decided to go to the medical wing. She went to Nat’s room and found the former assassin already awake. Her face brightened at the sight of the woman.

 

“Eva.” Nat greeted.

 

“How are you doing?”

 

“Good. Thank you for saving me.” Nat pointed at her own head.

 

“I’m glad to help. I’m sorry I couldn’t do much about your leg.” Eva gestured at the leg that was still wrapped in a bandage. She took most of her injuries but the injuries on her leg were quite severe and she didn’t think she could handle those and the headaches.

 

“I’m happy to be alive. How are you doing with Steve?”

 

“I’m happy.” She said with a smile. “I heard Sylvia was back.”

 

“She is. We still don’t know what will happen but I hope she’ll be okay.” Nat told her.

 

“That’s good.” Eva nodded. “Steve looked more alive when he came to my apartment last night.”

 

“Everyone looked more alive, Eva.” Nat grinned. “And he’s probably happy to see you as well. That old man loves you a lot.”

 

“I love him a lot as well.” Eva nodded with a wide smile on her face.

 


End file.
